Guys, if you don’t fit in with the guys described on the list below, it’s really ok to stab yourself in the eye and cry blood.
- Tall, dark and handsome is still a desire but if you are short, fair and look like a miniature Segun Arinze, fear not, you can still get in. All you need is a tall and handsome bank account that hardly sees dark days. Oh, these days, having a beard is a major substitute for all of this. Once you have a beard, these women don’t care that you really don’t have money for a shave.
- Care: Women want men that care for them, the kind that will massage their feet after a long day of trekking with heels, run a bath for them and maybe even make dinner. Of course, the fact that her feet stink, the tap is faulty and all you have is dinner should not matter. Just do it dammit!
- Men who mind their business. Women like men who don’t try to form familiar or invade their space. You don’t have to know all her friends and make small talk about them. This is pretty explanatory, some of you guys think you have to be friends with her clique, YOU ARE NOT ONE OF THE GIRLS!!! The sooner this sinks in, the better.
- Are you a man that uses make up? Yes? Then we have a problem. When you begin to line your eyebrows, dye your hair and maybe even apply a little mascara, she begins to wonder who the woman is in the relationship. Yes, some of you do this so fix up.
- Don’t be a critic. If you are privileged to eat her food, do not criticise it no matter how bad it is. Even if the jollof rice tastes like tomato struggled together with rice in a prison pot, just smile and show appreciation. This is very important, especially if you don’t know how to cook either. And no, your various Indomie recipes do NOT count.
- You know that thing many guys do (especially the ones from Eastern Nigeria), that Michael Jackson thing where you grab your crotch? Yes. Don’t do that. No it doesn’t tell her your Johnny is big, It doesn’t tell her you’re packing a tight package, it tells her “Hi, I’m an idiot and my brains are in my pants, so I’m just checking it’s still here”
- Sometimes, it’s good to lie. When she asks you what you studied in school, pick one of the masculine courses like Engineering, Maths, Banking etc. Women want a man who at least has some education or speaks like he has one. Look, if you spell stuff like “yew”, “kk”, “mawin” you don’t deserve a woman, you need an English teacher – A male one.
- A sense of humour. Women want a man that can laugh, not some serious zombie looking dude. But be sure your humour is genuine (*cough* Tunde *cough* Ednut) I don’t know how to explain this further so imma just leave it as it is.
- Mystery. You don’t have to tell her your entire life history; that just seems needy. Let there be some mystery about you. For instance, don’t tell her that the scar on your left arm came as a result of falling from the swing when you were a kid. Tell her it’s from a dark past you don’t want to remember. You see? She’ll be in awe. LOL. Don’t blame me if something goes wrong afterwards sha.
- Responsibility. That’s part of a relationship. Women want a responsible man, not necessarily the one that comes home at 7pm, doesn’t smoke or drink; BUT the one that is responsible for his bills…and hers too. Generally, you have to be a proactive nigga; have her best interests at heart and work to ensure she’s a comfortable queen.
- Don’t be too friendly. Women see their men as trophies and don’t like when you become too friendly with other women. They like the feeling of having something others want…but can’t have. So if you like, be flirting up and down the entire online universe, Just in case you don’t know, that’s major disrespect and disregard for the relationship you have..or want to have. I think I just subbed myself.
Random Thoughts. 